Things that dashed through my mind this morning.

In no particular order.
1. I'm a dumbass.
2. I'm a leech.
3. Doesn't saving someone from a fall also kill them?
4. I am a roach.
5. I am immature, irresponsible, and unable to make it through as I currently am.
6. Visionary Underground.
7. I need to help myself so I can help others.

Now, I suppose some of these things would require explanation, as they seem rather random, and out there.

Actually, 1 and 5 rather go together. I dinged, dented the truck I drive, and did not tell my folks about it. My mom did not notice it, but my dad, who came home recently, did, and confront me about it. I can't really deny it, and really realize, that this kind of stuff is what gets me in trouble, and I obviously have not learned my lesson. I then told my mom, and she was angry, which is what I thought I was avoiding in not telling her, but I know that she is not angry about injuring the car, but not telling her, because it is hers, and I am obligated to tell her if I have accidents with property that is not mine, as well as not be so afraid of her, and what her reaction will be, to be able to accept criticism and rebuke. That is necessary for life, and can help me be better in life.

Leech, I'm just really a bad person.

I was thinking, that, when someone is freefalling, in cartoons, and superhero shows, person is falling for some reason or another, and death is guaranteed should said person hit the ground, because all of their momentum stops, and is suddenly redirected. They are caught in a "Princess" hold, or cradled or whatever, and they are caught suddenly, and immediately go from going vertically, to going horizontally. They should die anyway, since it is a last minute save.

Being at State, kinda made me accustomed to "darkness" and now that I am at home, there is "light", going to church and all. And I am rejecting it. Inwardly, and, it probably is not good for me, but I don't really care to be here, working and doing labor and getting a lot done before 1100am on a Saturday, as well as missing chilling with friends on weekend nights.

Visionary Underground is a music group, and while cutting the grass today and listening to my iPod shuffle (1st gen.) the song Champagne & Wealth came on. It got me thinking, 1. I'm not yet living life well, and 2. Even though that may be the message of the song, you can not survive as an enlightened hobo in America.

I am not the best condition. However, I enjoy helping others, and trying to assist them with their problems, or maybe I'm just noisy. But I have a lot of problems myself, is it ok for me to try to help others, when I am so messed up myself?


-Pineapple