Gravity. Or should I talk about Coulomb Forces?

Gravity, because that's what one usually associates with something heavy on the mind, or heart. But that doesn't really apply to me, because I passed the first level of physics, so gravity is behind me, and Coulombs is the new thing. It had actually yet to hit me, probably because I escaped to State last weekend, but this weekend, home was essentially unavoidable. And, so home I stayed. Except for Friday night, when I chilled with some friends and played HALO 3 for quite a few hours. It was that, or go to a Brisingr book release, which I actually really wanted to do, but caught up in Magic: The Gathering TCG. Really fun, and another thing I wish I could do more here.
It.
Is.
Boring.
Here.
I have come to realize that I am completely not used to this, the soloness of being here. At State, I was rarely alone for more than an hour or two on a weekend, and have grown very accustomed to that lifestyle. I hate being alone, probably one of the worst things in the world for me, and today, that's what happened. I figured I would try to be productive, and get some Physics homework done, but I did not understand it, tried to read the book, and went cross-eyed, and when I thought I could be confident in an answer, it turned out to be wrong. All in all, a rather unproductive session. So, I watched about 7 episodes of Rosario + Vampire, Season one, finishing it, and am looking forward to Season 2 being subbed, as well as the manga scans. That is not a well spent day. I did go to a friends house, and chilled with some for a couple of hours, but, they are church friends. And I know I am not "fit" for their company anymore. I am a heathen, according to how I have been raised, and I am not sure I really want to not be. Which puts me at further odds with myself, because now I am unsure about post mortem consequences, which I do believe in, but am not ready to "come clean". Life rather sucks to me right now. And mistakes made in Raleigh, I have to come to terms with that, and brace for the worst case senario, which seems like it will happen, and I am scared about that, too much responsibility, yet ones I must bear. I need to do Chemistry and Biology work tomorrow, as well as secure a job soon. I want/need money for revisiting State, as well as Magic, and random outings with friends. Speaking of friends, I need help making them, I don't really know how, I think, and have to be more extroverted than I am used to being with strangers, and that is a bit intimidating. My intentions are not snow white, but mainly, I just want people to hang out with on weekends, or weekend nights... Being home constantly will drive me insane. But I guess above all of that, I need to know what the hell is going on in Physics. I don't want that class to end my college career, I am not ready for it to end.


Also, to whoever reads this series of gripes and complaints, where'd you go, from the first to this one, did the topic get too sour to stay around?


-Pineapple