A new direction/Needs and wants.

Curse the new president for ruining the word, but things have got to change. For me, personally. I honestly am not worried about the macro scale of things, I just know that things have got to change on a "micro" level, on my own personal level. I don't know what time this blog thing is on, but I am writing this at 0451 EST. I don't really feel sleepy, but I was, about 2 hours ago. Then my mother came and woke me up, complaining about how I am, and basically that I slept, played HALO, and went to bed, without doing the dishes. That was at 0320. I tried to go back to sleep, but couldn't, so I got up, went downstairs and did the dishes, and straightened up the kitchen a bit. But, back to change, and I guess the best way for me to go about it is to make the list, the other part of the title for this entry.

I want to do well in school.
I need to do my homework.
I want to have fun.
I need to do well in school.
I need to stop playing so many games.
I want to have more of a social life.
I need a job.
I [feel] I need to get out of this house. {That's probably more of a want.}
I want a significant other.
I need to focus.
I need to be more responsible.
I need to grow up.
I need to follow the rules of were I am. {Which is currently with my family.}
I need to do undergraduate research.

There are things getting in the way of some of those. Some are things that are difficult to change, some are near impossible for me, but I don't believe it is completely impossible, so do them I will try my best to.

And I think, one of the major inhibitors, at this point in time, is World of Warcraft. So, I have canceled payment to my account, and the last day I will be able to play will be 2/15. I plan to stop, personally, well before then. I may log on a few more times, and tell the friends I have made there goodbye. And then I will actually erase the folder from my computer, forcing me to not play. If I want to again, I will have to sit through over 10 gigs of downloads on a wireless connection. Thanks, but no thanks, it should not be that worth it to me. With Warcraft gone, I think I will have no choice BUT to focus more on schoolwork. This semester, I think is going to be the most challenging for me yet, and I am determined to get through it, and with passing grades in all of my classes. I am quite certain I can do it, but it is going to require a lot of time outside of class doing class related things, something that I never did too well, which caused me to return to Charlotte in the first place.
I'm not a kid anymore, I just can't sit idly by, and let life direct me. Sure, I believe I am simply in a boat, floating down Life's river, but, I have oars in my hand, and I will make damn sure that I direct myself down the path that is not leading to the waterfall, ending in bone-splitting rocks. I have already had a setback, and should not, will not tolerate any more. I don't need to, I can do better. So I will. I will prove to myself, my mother, and everyone around me that I can do it. That I will make something useful, and productive of myself.

It will happen, just you wait.

It is 0512, as I end this.





-Pineapple

Once again into the mind of Pines.

Happy new year, and Merry Christmas. It's been a while hasn't it Internet? I would agree it has. I blame it on WoW, which, as many of you know, takes over ones life. Why am I not playing now? Because I have commissioned a friend to play for me, to regain motivation to play my main. I guess, I am "grounding" myself from WoW. Oh, and if you do not yet know what that is, it is World of Warcraft. A rather fun, and intriguing online computer game. And I have also recieved an Xbox 360. The world conspires against my schooling, and what a time to do it too! Since this semester I am taking Organic Chemistry 1, and I don't know if you have heard horror stories, but I'm pretty sure this class is the sole source of 17.6248% of Asian student suicide, so it is a dagnam beast. And, I am returning to the genre of class I hate, what at State is called humanities, and here, at UNCC, is called Liberal Studies. Taking a music studies course, and a course on Hinduism. Which is wierd, because what I signed up for was "Global Connections". Not sure what happened in the world, but I had no idea that Global Connections=Study of Hinduism. But oh well, I will go, and roll with the punches, and what they throw at me. This first week was rocky, mainly because I don't have all my books, but they should all be here by Monday, and I will be ready to own and destroy the semester. I am a bit worried about my Basic engineering class, because there is a writing assignment, due in six weeks, with which I will have to put in a lot of thought, time, and research. And that is just not me. It is bad enough that I have to write, for 2 other classes, but, again, I cannot do anything but persevere, and do my work.
My plan is to get Straight A's this semester. And to hang out with a lot more Asians... Ok, maybe not so much the second part. It would be awesome, and I might get smarter, but I feel socially awkward, and would not know how to operate. I am very self conscious, and a people pleaser. I like to make people happy, and don't know how to meet new people. I am afraid to go out there and introduce myself. It's just something I'll have to get over. Or suffer forever with.

Oh yea, And get a job, that's really freaking high on the list too. As well as...some other...stuff.

Alright Internet, I think that is all for now. I will take my leave, and hope to return you sooner than I previously had.



-Pineapple